Events THE PLIGHT OF THE SAHM VS FTWM 28 December 2013

My Mum was a serious career high-flyer at a French bank, before she quit her job to….. look after me. For most of my life, I’d always thought it was such a silly decision, and that when I grew up, *I’d* never sacrifice all that money/career-glory just for my kid.

Now, being a SAHM and having made the same decision Mum made all those years ago, I truly understand and appreciate the sacrifice she made. This article I wrote for Material World is dedicated to her.

It is also dedicated to my mummy girl friends, and to anyone who is a mum and reading this. Because we’ve all made our own choices. We’ll never be sure if we made the right one, but we sure as hell hope it is!


The Plight of the SAHM vs FTWM, written for Material World.

Hope you enjoy the read 🙂


  • internettourist michelle posted on December 28, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    I liked your article Beverly. My mom was FTWM. She was and is always there for me. The work was always for me. At 48 i have ponder many things later in life. I have read this book called Bad Childhood Good Life (i had a wonderful childhood but have dealt closely with people who do not). A lot of people end up doing negative things to themselves as adults because they were not prioritized or treated badly by their parents. So being a loving parent and teaching your children well is the best thing for successful children. Knowing i have loving parents has been my light. Glad to see you are doing well Beverly. Happy New Year!

    • Beverly! posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:45 am

      You nailed it – knowing that your parents always have your back is probably the greatest gift in the world to a child.

  • Christine Knight Thomas on Facebook posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:48 am

    Great post Bev – you nailed the lose-lose position we’re in as mothers. xxx

    • Beverly! posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:26 pm

      At least the cuddles and glorious kisses do kinda make up for it!

  • Mirna Sierra-Duchemin on Facebook posted on December 29, 2013 at 9:44 am

    I used to be on the fence, but now I feel so lucky to be able to stay at home to have kids and take care of them 🙂

    • Beverly! posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:28 pm

      I think it’s particularly precious during their first few years.. I personally feel really privileged to be able to be there for all their milestones!

  • A posted on December 29, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    I’m not so sure about this Beverly. I was really depressed staying at home full time and I’ve gone back to work part-time now and it’s given me good mental stimulation plus I treasure the remaining days with my baby. I do notice that my patience with my (cute but demanding) toddler wanes when I spend days on end with her esp around public holidays. On one hand, I have guilt about going to work. We live in Australia with no family support at all and it’s very very very very hard. I had a friend of the family indirectly accuse me of choosing my career over child-rearing and I think that’s very judgemental. Perhaps bit of sour grapes. On the other hand, mummy is happier having some non-baby time and I can see that my toddler is learning social skills at childcare.
    There’re pros and cons to every situation. It’s not as easy… Even if I had bucket loads of cash and didn’t need to work. being a full-time SAHM will drive me nuts. 🙁

    • Beverly! posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:32 pm

      I think I know what you mean, and you’re not the only person I’ve heard say this. Sometimes I feel like I’m a pot about to boil over when I spend 24/7 with the kids with no “out” in sight. It’s rare, but those days do happen for me and I moan to Chris that I’m desperate to go back to work. But then I’m afraid of how I’ll feel if/when I do!!

  • Fiona Tram on Facebook posted on December 29, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    This article was a great read. I’ve been in both positions (FTWM for Solange, and SAHM with Kian) and love/hate both aspects of it).

    • Beverly! posted on December 30, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Aw thanks hon! I really wonder what I’ll be thinking when I go back to work full time…

  • Marie posted on December 30, 2013 at 11:22 am

    I liked the article 🙂 I work full time cos we can’t afford to live on a single income, I work very hard at being a great mother when I’m home and I’m glad that when my kids get hurt they still run to me before anyone else, it’s not easy staying awake at work when you’ve been cleaning up vomit at 12, 3 and 6 and then go to work but I wouldn’t trade it for anything, most mothers kick ass, FTWM or SAHM.

    • Beverly! posted on December 30, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      Man, hats off to you. Sometimes I wonder how mums can survive, with the full load (times ten) on their shoulders every day!


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