You asked “Are they saying it’s OK for a woman to marry a man that’s a non-Christian because he and their children will be saved through her????”
For a believer to directly marry a non-believer to “sanctify the husband and children” through her grace is using THAT as an excuse to marry her husband because she is too attached to him (and not God) to let go. She should love God so much where she should surrender the man to God, for she should put God first before anything, even anyone. Also, the husband and children cannot be saved by the mother’s grace alone, they have to – on their own volition, accept Christ. It’s not fair if they are automatically saved because of the Christian mother, then for all the non-believers in this world, all they need to do is marry a Christian to go to heaven.
Also, and this is perhaps something you overlooked: If a non-believer knows you are very in love with him, AND you are a Christian, and you are so in love you cannot let him go… and you marry him, that is an action that implies: “I love God, and I love you, but I don’t have enough faith in God that I can do without you.” If you don’t marry him, the non-believer has no choice but to think, “whatever she’s believing, or whatever God she devotes herself to, must be really GREAT that my lover had the strength to break up with me.” So if you do marry him, the non-believer really has no point or desire to accept God, because he has all he wants (you) and you weren’t in love with God enough to have put the non-believer before God.
The reason why I have taken the time to write all this is because the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I did not even know about the bible saying this until I was too deep in love. I tried to speak with my boyfriend/express my views/convert him, but as nice, kind-hearted, and sweet as he was, he realized the one thing blocking our relationship was… Christianity. So he began loathing it.
I was in love with him, it hurt to let him go- I lost 6 lbs in like 3 days, but the reason why I did it was because yes, I did love God before I loved him, and I could not imagine myself having children, going to church with them, and having my husband sleep in and not join. it wouldn’t be a true, loving, 1-unit family. Because I loved my boyfriend so much, after we broke up, we couldn’t stand being without each other so I went back to him. Months later, we tried to work it out but realized because of our religous differences, in the long run it wouldn’t work out no matter how desperately in love we were with each other.
During that latter process, my faith in God grew, and he gave me the strength to thnk about life without my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup, and to this day (1 year later) I am glad it happened, because no matter how much I love him (I still do) I knew if we were still together, we would be in deeper in love and wouldn’t be able to control ourselves in the future, would get married, have kids… and then get divorced. The strangest, most unbelievable part was that God filled me with so much love and happiness, that even today I am extremely happy to be with God.
I pray you don’t have to go through the same pain. I pray that God will be with you.
ps the link I gave you is not THAT great. Just look up on the internet “unequally yoked” and you’ll find a million websites.
Re: I hope this will help you.
Thanks, it does help.. and it’s really comforting to know that others have been in a similar situation. I do fear that my boyfriend will start to hate Christinity since it’s the only thing that stands between us from being together.
But yes, the thought of going to church by myself when I”m married while my husband sleeps at home is enough to make me balk at the thought. I simply won’t be like a single person or worse, a single mother, when I’m married.
It’s a hard decision to make.. so I’m glad I’m still young. But hopefully, no matter what happens, both of us will be happy.
You asked “Are they saying it’s OK for a woman to marry a man that’s a non-Christian because he and their children will be saved through her????”
For a believer to directly marry a non-believer to “sanctify the husband and children” through her grace is using THAT as an excuse to marry her husband because she is too attached to him (and not God) to let go. She should love God so much where she should surrender the man to God, for she should put God first before anything, even anyone. Also, the husband and children cannot be saved by the mother’s grace alone, they have to – on their own volition, accept Christ. It’s not fair if they are automatically saved because of the Christian mother, then for all the non-believers in this world, all they need to do is marry a Christian to go to heaven.
Also, and this is perhaps something you overlooked: If a non-believer knows you are very in love with him, AND you are a Christian, and you are so in love you cannot let him go… and you marry him, that is an action that implies: “I love God, and I love you, but I don’t have enough faith in God that I can do without you.” If you don’t marry him, the non-believer has no choice but to think, “whatever she’s believing, or whatever God she devotes herself to, must be really GREAT that my lover had the strength to break up with me.” So if you do marry him, the non-believer really has no point or desire to accept God, because he has all he wants (you) and you weren’t in love with God enough to have put the non-believer before God.
The reason why I have taken the time to write all this is because the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I did not even know about the bible saying this until I was too deep in love. I tried to speak with my boyfriend/express my views/convert him, but as nice, kind-hearted, and sweet as he was, he realized the one thing blocking our relationship was… Christianity. So he began loathing it.
I was in love with him, it hurt to let him go- I lost 6 lbs in like 3 days, but the reason why I did it was because yes, I did love God before I loved him, and I could not imagine myself having children, going to church with them, and having my husband sleep in and not join. it wouldn’t be a true, loving, 1-unit family. Because I loved my boyfriend so much, after we broke up, we couldn’t stand being without each other so I went back to him. Months later, we tried to work it out but realized because of our religous differences, in the long run it wouldn’t work out no matter how desperately in love we were with each other.
During that latter process, my faith in God grew, and he gave me the strength to thnk about life without my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup, and to this day (1 year later) I am glad it happened, because no matter how much I love him (I still do) I knew if we were still together, we would be in deeper in love and wouldn’t be able to control ourselves in the future, would get married, have kids… and then get divorced. The strangest, most unbelievable part was that God filled me with so much love and happiness, that even today I am extremely happy to be with God.
I pray you don’t have to go through the same pain. I pray that God will be with you.
ps the link I gave you is not THAT great. Just look up on the internet “unequally yoked” and you’ll find a million websites.
Re: I hope this will help you.
Thanks, it does help.. and it’s really comforting to know that others have been in a similar situation. I do fear that my boyfriend will start to hate Christinity since it’s the only thing that stands between us from being together.
But yes, the thought of going to church by myself when I”m married while my husband sleeps at home is enough to make me balk at the thought. I simply won’t be like a single person or worse, a single mother, when I’m married.
It’s a hard decision to make.. so I’m glad I’m still young. But hopefully, no matter what happens, both of us will be happy.
Not that my opinion counts here (it’s my first visit), but I’d agree with the majority of believers out there, that marrying a non-christian is a rather big “no.” It would lead to rather heated arguements further down the line (and would be more pain than pleasure), especially since “secularism” is very much opposed to christianity. Indeed, inter-denominational marriages are hard enough, and they mainly agree on 99% of issues.
Contempory society encourages people to live life as they see fit, whilst Jesus teaches us to live by the Bible. Issues such as Sex, Lifestyle, Addictions, Beliefs would more often than not be diametrically opposed to each other.
1. Sex – I doubt that most non-christians can see the virtue in holding their virgity until marriage. Afterall, to the secular world out there, sex is nothing more than a form of social interaction (like shaking hands).
2. Lifestyle – I once again doubt that most non-christians would be opposed to a lifestyle of self-indulgence. While Christianity reinforces the belief that we are here to help one another, the world encourages us to look after ourselves. Try explaining to your future non-christian spouse that you would like to give the church 10% of your income every week.
3. Addictions – addictions are everywhere. From drugs, alcoholism, sex, etc. Anything that would detract ones main focus from the worship of God ultimately becomes their God.
4. Beliefs – the concept of sin is lost on many non-christians (and also some believers). Some things are just wrong (giving false testimony, fornication, homosexuality, etc) and have Godly reasons behind them. One day your child may ask if it’s ok to be gay, or your spouse may want to engage in extra-marital “fun”. Whilst the non-christian view would be “Being Gay is ok,” or “Swinger baby! Yeah!” the bible is rather firm on these issues.
There are plenty of other issues that one could formulate as to why non-christians and christians should not marry, but I’m sure i’ve raised the blood pressure of some readers enough for tonight.
For skeptics and Christian-haters out there, no christian’s are perfect, indeed, this is why we go to church, read the bible, and seek forgiveness. If a person could live a perfect life without sin, there would be no need for Christ. It is because we are “imperfect” that we need the bible to guide us, and Jesus to redeem us.
*wooF*
I know marriage is hard anyway, and there are always problems.. so I can see why it’s ‘right’ to try and marry someone with common views as yourself – not just spritually but in other aspects. It just leads to less tension and potential arguments.
One thing though, someone did mention to me that homosexuals are that way genetically, not because they specifically chose to. If that’s the case, then it can also be said that because it was in their genes, God made them like that when they were born.. so it’s not their fault is it? I thought that was kind of confusing :T
oh bev! haha we dived into another thing…
there is no scientific proof that homsexuality is inherited or genetically passed down.
i’ll keep it like this for now. ill be emailing u 😉
sam.k
Not that my opinion counts here (it’s my first visit), but I’d agree with the majority of believers out there, that marrying a non-christian is a rather big “no.” It would lead to rather heated arguements further down the line (and would be more pain than pleasure), especially since “secularism” is very much opposed to christianity. Indeed, inter-denominational marriages are hard enough, and they mainly agree on 99% of issues.
Contempory society encourages people to live life as they see fit, whilst Jesus teaches us to live by the Bible. Issues such as Sex, Lifestyle, Addictions, Beliefs would more often than not be diametrically opposed to each other.
1. Sex – I doubt that most non-christians can see the virtue in holding their virgity until marriage. Afterall, to the secular world out there, sex is nothing more than a form of social interaction (like shaking hands).
2. Lifestyle – I once again doubt that most non-christians would be opposed to a lifestyle of self-indulgence. While Christianity reinforces the belief that we are here to help one another, the world encourages us to look after ourselves. Try explaining to your future non-christian spouse that you would like to give the church 10% of your income every week.
3. Addictions – addictions are everywhere. From drugs, alcoholism, sex, etc. Anything that would detract ones main focus from the worship of God ultimately becomes their God.
4. Beliefs – the concept of sin is lost on many non-christians (and also some believers). Some things are just wrong (giving false testimony, fornication, homosexuality, etc) and have Godly reasons behind them. One day your child may ask if it’s ok to be gay, or your spouse may want to engage in extra-marital “fun”. Whilst the non-christian view would be “Being Gay is ok,” or “Swinger baby! Yeah!” the bible is rather firm on these issues.
There are plenty of other issues that one could formulate as to why non-christians and christians should not marry, but I’m sure i’ve raised the blood pressure of some readers enough for tonight.
For skeptics and Christian-haters out there, no christian’s are perfect, indeed, this is why we go to church, read the bible, and seek forgiveness. If a person could live a perfect life without sin, there would be no need for Christ. It is because we are “imperfect” that we need the bible to guide us, and Jesus to redeem us.
*wooF*
I know marriage is hard anyway, and there are always problems.. so I can see why it’s ‘right’ to try and marry someone with common views as yourself – not just spritually but in other aspects. It just leads to less tension and potential arguments.
One thing though, someone did mention to me that homosexuals are that way genetically, not because they specifically chose to. If that’s the case, then it can also be said that because it was in their genes, God made them like that when they were born.. so it’s not their fault is it? I thought that was kind of confusing :T
oh bev! haha we dived into another thing…
there is no scientific proof that homsexuality is inherited or genetically passed down.
i’ll keep it like this for now. ill be emailing u 😉
sam.k
Obedience to God
hi there Beverly,
i read your journal occasionally and ran over this post… i just wanted to add a couple of general perspectives.
as christians, our call is to be sanctified before God and set apart from the world (1 Thess 4:3-7). we strive towards sanctification for the ultimate glory of God and by obeying His Word (the Bible). as covered in the previous posts, the Bible says believers should not marry or “be yoked” with unbelievers.
i think that marriage oftentimes becomes more of an issue of obedience to God because for many, it plays out more as a selfish desire for self-fulfillment or self-validation. our only source of validation should come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ and God alone.
going back to glorifying God first, i think there’s a couple questions you have to ask yourself before marriage or even in any relationship: simply – “Is God first?” and “Would I still be content/satsified with God even if He took my spouse/significant other away today or tomorrow?” — that’s the HARDEST thing to consider but i believe that if you have that kind of a mindset, you will be obedient to God’s sovereignty and joyful in what He’s already provided through Christ; whether you’re single or married. God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is to glorify Him!
heh, i won’t keep dragging on and on, but i just wanted to post my thoughts on the general issue of marriage. here’s a quote that everybody should think upon:
“Love is not gazing at each other, but looking together in the
same direction.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
my 2 cents,
jeremy
Re: Obedience to God
Thanks for your input Jeremy.. i find it really sad and infinitely hard that I might have to let go of someone that I love more than anything – I never knew that being a believer could cause me so much heartache 🙁 But I guess I”m still young so I’m in no hurry to get married anyway, so we’ll see how things go. I know life is never easy, but sometimes I wish it was as simple as I see it!
I love your love quote by the way 🙂
Re: Obedience to God
no problem! i’m glad i could encourage a fellow sister; even though i don’t know you!
yea, i’m going through my own ‘girl-issues’ now and am having quite a tough time through it but something i constantly need to be reminding myself from the Word is this:
“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.” (Phil. 1:29)
and also:
“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”(2 Tim 3:12)
i think i’m finally taking those words to heart these days, not just with ‘girl-issues’ but with all sorts of other things and trusting the Lord to use those trials to bring me closer to Him.
Re: Obedience to God
It’s really nice to find out how many Christians read my journal, especially because so many are knowlegable and can help me when I have questions 🙂
I hope you work things out between you and your gf (?).. the main reason I find it hard to date Christians is because I don’t really know any, except those I meet at church, and I don’t feel any romantic connection with them anyway!
Obedience to God
hi there Beverly,
i read your journal occasionally and ran over this post… i just wanted to add a couple of general perspectives.
as christians, our call is to be sanctified before God and set apart from the world (1 Thess 4:3-7). we strive towards sanctification for the ultimate glory of God and by obeying His Word (the Bible). as covered in the previous posts, the Bible says believers should not marry or “be yoked” with unbelievers.
i think that marriage oftentimes becomes more of an issue of obedience to God because for many, it plays out more as a selfish desire for self-fulfillment or self-validation. our only source of validation should come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ and God alone.
going back to glorifying God first, i think there’s a couple questions you have to ask yourself before marriage or even in any relationship: simply – “Is God first?” and “Would I still be content/satsified with God even if He took my spouse/significant other away today or tomorrow?” — that’s the HARDEST thing to consider but i believe that if you have that kind of a mindset, you will be obedient to God’s sovereignty and joyful in what He’s already provided through Christ; whether you’re single or married. God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is to glorify Him!
heh, i won’t keep dragging on and on, but i just wanted to post my thoughts on the general issue of marriage. here’s a quote that everybody should think upon:
“Love is not gazing at each other, but looking together in the
same direction.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
my 2 cents,
jeremy
Re: Obedience to God
Thanks for your input Jeremy.. i find it really sad and infinitely hard that I might have to let go of someone that I love more than anything – I never knew that being a believer could cause me so much heartache 🙁 But I guess I”m still young so I’m in no hurry to get married anyway, so we’ll see how things go. I know life is never easy, but sometimes I wish it was as simple as I see it!
I love your love quote by the way 🙂
Re: Obedience to God
no problem! i’m glad i could encourage a fellow sister; even though i don’t know you!
yea, i’m going through my own ‘girl-issues’ now and am having quite a tough time through it but something i constantly need to be reminding myself from the Word is this:
“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.” (Phil. 1:29)
and also:
“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”(2 Tim 3:12)
i think i’m finally taking those words to heart these days, not just with ‘girl-issues’ but with all sorts of other things and trusting the Lord to use those trials to bring me closer to Him.
Re: Obedience to God
It’s really nice to find out how many Christians read my journal, especially because so many are knowlegable and can help me when I have questions 🙂
I hope you work things out between you and your gf (?).. the main reason I find it hard to date Christians is because I don’t really know any, except those I meet at church, and I don’t feel any romantic connection with them anyway!
hi
I study the bible v. frequently and i agree that the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian…. instead of confusing you with bible verses though… i will tell you another reason why i strongly agree….
My boyfriend’s aunt was/is a strong christian. She married a christian man but they divorced. Her second marriage was to a non-christian. The family splits up on sunday mornings….. the woman and 3 children go to church, the father sleeps in…. the mother/father believe separate things so there is always a struggle on what to teach their children or how to raise their children. The parents constantly fight about it and the children cant help but over-hear. They also wonder why daddy doesnt come to church. He is also a negative influence on her, and because of him…she is no longer as strong of a christian as she was…
This has caused for a difficult marriage and a difficult environment for the children to live in.
Bottom line : It makes life harder. (and it is biblically not right)
Hopefully i could be of help.
Re: hi
so.. the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian, but divorce is cool?
Why can’t they do alternate things each weekend if the kids aren’t old enough to make a choice. And if they are old enough to make a choice, let them make one without telling them they’ll “not be saved” or “go to hell.”
Yea, indoctrination worked for Hitler, but these are kids here, they should be given a choice for what they would like to do.
Maybe I’m not as fanatical as everyone here. The kids should be allowed to wonder why ‘daddy doesn’t go to church’ and be told because he doesn’t believe the same things, but wants them to have the chance to believe what they want.
Again not posting w/ a name because I have no account here at lj 😐
Re: hi
The Bible is really against divorce actually, and it’s very frowned upon in the Christian community.. because when you take your marriage vows they’re vows to God as well, and by divorcing, you’re breaking those vows.
Re: hi
As christian parents. The father, the mother and the children have a responsiblity and a call to obidience to God.
These are some commands/verses that God has clearly stated in the Bible the role of the father, the wife and the kids…
THE FATHER
In Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
In Ephesians 5, it goes on to explain about the father’s role in more detail.
Col 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged
THE CHILDREN
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
THE WIFE
Col 3:18 & Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
–
I’m not being preachy here, but you see, a Christian family is hard to survive without the father being a spiritual role model in the family. As you can see, the father has a huge responsiblity on his shoulders, it is not enough for me to type it all here, but in the context of what you did write, true kids are given a choice, but yet at the same time, as Christian parents, they have a responsibilty and a call to obidience to God. When Christian parents baptise their children (infant baptisim), they do it because they want their child to be brought up in a Christian family, and also to to teach them (not indoctrinate them) the word of God, during baptism, vows are being said b4 the Lord pertaining to this. Ultimately as the grow older, if it’s the Lord’s will for them for them for salvation to come into their hearts, it’s God’s will, not ours.
🙂 hope people reading this maybe able to understand a little why the Bible does not encourage us to marry an unbeliver.
You’re right about what you posted.. I think having a husband without the same religious beliefs as me would make me feel like a single mother – especially if I bring the kids to Church and he stays back at home. After all, the husband is the head of the family and leads the family.. Sometimes I wish life came with easy answers and decisions, or rather, ones that didn’t cause me or others hurt :T
Re: hi
I fully agree with you.
To me, what the Church says (“can’t marry a non-Christian”) isn’t as big of an issue of the actual factual and realistic reasons – which is what you said. I do strongly think that if 1 person was religious and the other wasn’t, the religious person would ‘drift’ away. When I’m married, I want to share the same spiritual beliefs as my husband, because I do think I’d drift away otherwise. Also, I HATE HATE HATE the thought of bringing my children to church while my husband sleeps at home. Id’ feel like a single parent and just awful, not like a family unit 🙁 That’s why I think its’ easier to marry someone of your religious beliefs.. so you can do things together (ie. both sleep in, or both go to church). It’s just what being a family is.. being together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
hi
I study the bible v. frequently and i agree that the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian…. instead of confusing you with bible verses though… i will tell you another reason why i strongly agree….
My boyfriend’s aunt was/is a strong christian. She married a christian man but they divorced. Her second marriage was to a non-christian. The family splits up on sunday mornings….. the woman and 3 children go to church, the father sleeps in…. the mother/father believe separate things so there is always a struggle on what to teach their children or how to raise their children. The parents constantly fight about it and the children cant help but over-hear. They also wonder why daddy doesnt come to church. He is also a negative influence on her, and because of him…she is no longer as strong of a christian as she was…
This has caused for a difficult marriage and a difficult environment for the children to live in.
Bottom line : It makes life harder. (and it is biblically not right)
Hopefully i could be of help.
Re: hi
so.. the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian, but divorce is cool?
Why can’t they do alternate things each weekend if the kids aren’t old enough to make a choice. And if they are old enough to make a choice, let them make one without telling them they’ll “not be saved” or “go to hell.”
Yea, indoctrination worked for Hitler, but these are kids here, they should be given a choice for what they would like to do.
Maybe I’m not as fanatical as everyone here. The kids should be allowed to wonder why ‘daddy doesn’t go to church’ and be told because he doesn’t believe the same things, but wants them to have the chance to believe what they want.
Again not posting w/ a name because I have no account here at lj 😐
Re: hi
The Bible is really against divorce actually, and it’s very frowned upon in the Christian community.. because when you take your marriage vows they’re vows to God as well, and by divorcing, you’re breaking those vows.
Re: hi
As christian parents. The father, the mother and the children have a responsiblity and a call to obidience to God.
These are some commands/verses that God has clearly stated in the Bible the role of the father, the wife and the kids…
THE FATHER
In Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
In Ephesians 5, it goes on to explain about the father’s role in more detail.
Col 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged
THE CHILDREN
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
THE WIFE
Col 3:18 & Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
–
I’m not being preachy here, but you see, a Christian family is hard to survive without the father being a spiritual role model in the family. As you can see, the father has a huge responsiblity on his shoulders, it is not enough for me to type it all here, but in the context of what you did write, true kids are given a choice, but yet at the same time, as Christian parents, they have a responsibilty and a call to obidience to God. When Christian parents baptise their children (infant baptisim), they do it because they want their child to be brought up in a Christian family, and also to to teach them (not indoctrinate them) the word of God, during baptism, vows are being said b4 the Lord pertaining to this. Ultimately as the grow older, if it’s the Lord’s will for them for them for salvation to come into their hearts, it’s God’s will, not ours.
🙂 hope people reading this maybe able to understand a little why the Bible does not encourage us to marry an unbeliver.
You’re right about what you posted.. I think having a husband without the same religious beliefs as me would make me feel like a single mother – especially if I bring the kids to Church and he stays back at home. After all, the husband is the head of the family and leads the family.. Sometimes I wish life came with easy answers and decisions, or rather, ones that didn’t cause me or others hurt :T
Re: hi
I fully agree with you.
To me, what the Church says (“can’t marry a non-Christian”) isn’t as big of an issue of the actual factual and realistic reasons – which is what you said. I do strongly think that if 1 person was religious and the other wasn’t, the religious person would ‘drift’ away. When I’m married, I want to share the same spiritual beliefs as my husband, because I do think I’d drift away otherwise. Also, I HATE HATE HATE the thought of bringing my children to church while my husband sleeps at home. Id’ feel like a single parent and just awful, not like a family unit 🙁 That’s why I think its’ easier to marry someone of your religious beliefs.. so you can do things together (ie. both sleep in, or both go to church). It’s just what being a family is.. being together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
it’s strange how powerful religions are, that it would prevent someone from not being with someone they love.
I’m not religious at all, agnostic more, i have my own views on God, and my purpose, but I don’t pray, go to church, etc.
I just don’t see how saying to someone ‘I can’t be with you because you’re not my religion’ is any different from saying ‘I can’t be with you because you’re a different race’. It seems really selective and promotes weird feelings in me.
Guess that’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t want to be part of something that told me who I can and cannot associate with, because I am accountable for my OWN actions at death. I feel I can be my own good person without a set of rules that are constantly updated and changing (there are some things in the bible people completely don’t follow anymore and if you believe it in so strongly you would give something up, why don’t you believe in the rest of it?).
If you make choices you think are right and genuine instead of choices you “should make to impress God” that will be seen in the end, on your day of judgement. Are you really a “good” person? Or are you just going with what you were told?
That’s why people were created with Free Will, not so they could believe or not believe, but so they could govern themselves.
Just some food for thought for you Bev, and I can’t post w/ a user name because I don’t have one, and can’t join livejournal w/o a code. I know this may fall on def ears though, if your bible tells you to strongly uphold your beliefs and never doubt. But did you know.. had you been born to different PARENTS, or adopted to different PARENTS…. you could quite likely have a different religion you’d believe just as strongly?
No worries about the anonmity, you weren’t being agressive or rude or anything anyway. WHat you said wasn’t ‘shocking’ or anything to me, I’ve heard those thoughts/questions asked before 🙂
My response is that Christianity is hard to explain – it’s a faith and when people say “HOW can you believe?” or “Where’s the proof?” well, that’s what the word faith is.. to believe and *trust* in something. I think the Bible is against different religions marrying mainly because it causes a lot of problems in the future. Being married is to be one with someone, and if you have different beliefs, how can you be ‘one’? Both of you are going in different directions – I’m not saying one direction is right and the other is wrong.. but when 2 people have opposiing views, I think it just leads to problems in the future. Like if 2 people have very different ways of bringing up a child, or of handing finances, etc.
I don’t believe that ONLY Christians can be good people either. I do believe that in general, Christians are on average ‘better’ people (ie. less likely to steal, cheat, etc), but I have many many friends that aren’t Christians and have perfectly placed morals and values.. if not better than other Christians I know.
Interesting point about the “being born to different parents” though, because I did hear that staistically if a child is born in a certain religion, they are more likely to believe in that religion than a child who was brought up non-religions. I think I would have ‘found’ Christianity even if I wasn’t born into it though.. but as it stands where I am now, basically my entire life and social structure is ingrained with it and so all the morals, values, rules, etc are ingrained in me as a person.
it’s strange how powerful religions are, that it would prevent someone from not being with someone they love.
I’m not religious at all, agnostic more, i have my own views on God, and my purpose, but I don’t pray, go to church, etc.
I just don’t see how saying to someone ‘I can’t be with you because you’re not my religion’ is any different from saying ‘I can’t be with you because you’re a different race’. It seems really selective and promotes weird feelings in me.
Guess that’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t want to be part of something that told me who I can and cannot associate with, because I am accountable for my OWN actions at death. I feel I can be my own good person without a set of rules that are constantly updated and changing (there are some things in the bible people completely don’t follow anymore and if you believe it in so strongly you would give something up, why don’t you believe in the rest of it?).
If you make choices you think are right and genuine instead of choices you “should make to impress God” that will be seen in the end, on your day of judgement. Are you really a “good” person? Or are you just going with what you were told?
That’s why people were created with Free Will, not so they could believe or not believe, but so they could govern themselves.
Just some food for thought for you Bev, and I can’t post w/ a user name because I don’t have one, and can’t join livejournal w/o a code. I know this may fall on def ears though, if your bible tells you to strongly uphold your beliefs and never doubt. But did you know.. had you been born to different PARENTS, or adopted to different PARENTS…. you could quite likely have a different religion you’d believe just as strongly?
No worries about the anonmity, you weren’t being agressive or rude or anything anyway. WHat you said wasn’t ‘shocking’ or anything to me, I’ve heard those thoughts/questions asked before 🙂
My response is that Christianity is hard to explain – it’s a faith and when people say “HOW can you believe?” or “Where’s the proof?” well, that’s what the word faith is.. to believe and *trust* in something. I think the Bible is against different religions marrying mainly because it causes a lot of problems in the future. Being married is to be one with someone, and if you have different beliefs, how can you be ‘one’? Both of you are going in different directions – I’m not saying one direction is right and the other is wrong.. but when 2 people have opposiing views, I think it just leads to problems in the future. Like if 2 people have very different ways of bringing up a child, or of handing finances, etc.
I don’t believe that ONLY Christians can be good people either. I do believe that in general, Christians are on average ‘better’ people (ie. less likely to steal, cheat, etc), but I have many many friends that aren’t Christians and have perfectly placed morals and values.. if not better than other Christians I know.
Interesting point about the “being born to different parents” though, because I did hear that staistically if a child is born in a certain religion, they are more likely to believe in that religion than a child who was brought up non-religions. I think I would have ‘found’ Christianity even if I wasn’t born into it though.. but as it stands where I am now, basically my entire life and social structure is ingrained with it and so all the morals, values, rules, etc are ingrained in me as a person.
Hey Beverly, I agree with (padi)Cindy too, I think this passage refers to a person converting after marriage, not okaying a believer marrying a non-believer. And if a man converts after marriage, it’s not an excuse to divorce his wife because he is now a Christian and she’s not.
i agree,… the Bible is pretty clear about christians marrying non-christians. but then again, i know people who married non-christians with the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their spouses will accept Christ. if you truly love the one you’re with, then prayerfully he will accept Christ too. no matter what, trust in Him because God will work things according to His purpose for those who loves Him. 🙂 i hope all these responses will encourage you in your walk with Christ, especially in your relationship 🙂
Yeah.. I realise now that the passage wasn’t referring to what I thought it was. I was hoping it would though 🙁 Unfortunately, my church will absolutely not marry their members with a non-believer. I guess time will tell how things go.. at the end of the day, i just want both of us to be happy!
>but then again, i know people who married non-christians with >the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their >spouses will accept Christ.
But in obidience with God. it is a definite no. its very important that we as belivers of Christ follow exactly what the Bible says that has been clearly stated. We will be judge for our decisions like these.
But yes, if you truly love the person, as you said, we should continue to pray for his/her salvation 🙂
– sam.k
I’ve met my wife during uni days and we’ve dated for over 5 years. However, both our parents opposed to our marriage violently – not because of religious reasons but because I was younger than her and that they thought that the relationship would eventually become incompatible due to the age difference: They were afraid that we will both end up hurting each other eventually. The reason for their opposition was not about control but about their true love for us, which wished for our ultimate happiness.
We communicated with them, through our sincere and genuine love for each other, through pleas and through demonstration of our commitment to each other – eternally… they eventually gave in and blessed our union.
Now, I believe that the God also wants to bless you – not by breaking your relationship up but by allowing you to experience the wonders of true union in the Lord. He wants the best for you…
He has promised that if we knock on the door it will be opened and if we ask that it will be given… What parent would deny their child’s ultimate happiness? So the message is that you should, through your actions and prayers, introduce the wonders of your relationship with Him who has made you to your partner… and ask and plea or even beg and nag Him to open your partner’s hearts so that he can allow Christ into his heart… The outcome will be an eternal happy union as well as another heart won for the Kingdom… now which do you think God would prefer… a break up of a beautiful relationship or another soul won and a wonderful witness of His Love manifested through your relationship?
The relationship with the Lord is not about being bound by rules and regulations. Christ did not come to enforce the laws but He came to fulfill the laws so that we may be free… free to enjoy all that He has planned for us through the power that he has given us…
So tonite I pray for you and whoever may be out there wondering about their relationships… do turn your heart toward God and ask Him… I am sure that He will deliver as He promised…
Thanks for your insight into the passage.. I was really wondering about it because as long as I can remember, I was always told a Christian and non-Christian should not marry. Yet that passage really seems to suggest it’s alright! I didn’t realise it was referring to a non-believing couple when one decided to believe.
I can’t force anyone to convert, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be ‘true’ anyway.. but I hope with all my heart things will work out for us . It’s such a difficult situation to be in, especially now that I’m older, and sometimes it really makes me feel lost when I realise the decision I have to make sooner or later. I guess there is no simple or easy way out!
I’ve stumbled across your blog and saw that you’ve raised an interesting question.
In the previous verses from 7:1-7:9, Paul speaks to the singles, saying that it is better for them not to get married (if they have the gift of being able to stay single without sinning(sexual sin in this case)). This has caused a lot of controversy when I was at uni as the devout Christian couples started to wonder whether they should continue their relationships or to break up and remain single to do the Lord’s work for the rest of their lives. I think the ability to remain single is a special “gift” and for most of us it is better (as Paul suggests) to marry. Paul is trying to emphasise the urgency of the work at hand as the harvests are plentiful but the labourers are few.
As for latter verses, it talks about married couples. Paul is trying to suggest that Divorce is illegal(v10) and it would be good to try to stay together despite your differences but if you can’t bear the relationship with someone who has no relationship with the Lord, then it is ok to part with each other.
The Bible is clear in forbidding Christian’s marriage with non Christians – both in the old and new testament. And the reason is so pure and so simple. Marriage is an institution that the Creator has instituted by blessing Adam and Eve. Because of His love for us, he willed us to continue and enjoy our relationship with the Creator ETERNALLY through personal interaction with Him.
It’s an institution where, the two halves unite once again as one – both physically (through sex) and spiritually (through their common relationship with the Lord and their shared goals).
Two people with different (not necessarily conflicting) goals don’t work very well together as it makes everything twice as complex and hard. He, who loves you, is concerned about your spiritual welfare lest you may fall from His grace and turn your eyes upon worldly destinations (we often fall into this trap without much help from others)…
A truly successful marriage is where the physical and spiritual union through the Lord is present. If only half of the equation (sex and perhaps emotional union but not spiritual) is fulfilled, then we would be missing out on something so wonderful that God had originally planned for us: Usually one will have a goal of worldly success, whilst the other will have set their eyes upon something eternal – the difference here is literally heaven and earth – do they mix? certainly not very well…
Now that I’ve depressed you enough with all these Biblical mumbo jumbo… I would like to present you with a ray of sunshine below…
Hi there..chanced upon your journal and you don’t know me but I worship in Zion too. =)
That passage refers to a couple in which the wife becomes a believer while she is still in the marriage. The passage says that she does not have the right to divorce him even though she is now a believer and God has said that the unequally should not be yoked.
I think the bible has been rather clear about marriages between the non-christian and a christian. Which is difficult, especially if you’ve met someone who is a non christian but you truly love. I know how you feel, having been under the same situation. It’s a terrible feeling. =\
Don’t stop praying beverly. God will not leave you alone in a time like this, and He will only prepare the best for you. Take care and if you need help with anything else don’t hesitate to let me know.
Oh hey cool… are you in YF? I assume you’re talking about Zion in SG.. haven’t been back for ages 🙁
thanks for the clarification though. It makes sense.. and I think it’s very merciful and fair to say that the wife (or husband) doesn’t have to divorce their spouse if they become a believer themselves.
If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do when you were in the situation like mine?
No I’m not in YF. I stopped going a few years back. =)
I wouldn’t mind sharing with you what I have done/will do etc in a situation like yours. But it is a tad bit private so why don’t you drop me an email at [email protected] and we’ll talk there? =)
yea it’s an incredible decision to make.. and hurts too much..
it’s one giant leap of faith..
“another Zion member” (my, my, aren’t we everywhere.. )
Tsk tsk. Who are you ah? Why are you anonymous??? =\
Heh.. I was thinking that too! Spill your name, it’s always fun to meet people from Zion, the world is a small place 🙂
Sounds like that’s what it’s saying.
There are other parts of the Bible that say it’s okay for a man to leave his wife, but if SHE divorces him and marries someone else, it’s adultery. Bleh.
Hi there! Just wondering, what made you come to this conclusion?
I’m saying this because to my best knowledge, the bible has been very clear about marriages. I don’t remember anywhere that says it’s ok for a man to leave his wife and that for the wife to leave her husband it’s adultery.
maybe you can let us know where the bible talks about such a situation?
What passage is that in?!
Hi Bev —
Evidently you are quite religious, and you have mentioned religion being an issue with your relationship with Chris.
I remember that you said you did not believe in living with a man before marriage. I suppose this may be considered a personal question, you can screen/delete if you wish, but I have been curious of this for some time, I was wondering what your views on sex before marriage were?
– S
You should probably email me about that, I’m not going to start a religious debate here 😛
Hey Beverly, I agree with (padi)Cindy too, I think this passage refers to a person converting after marriage, not okaying a believer marrying a non-believer. And if a man converts after marriage, it’s not an excuse to divorce his wife because he is now a Christian and she’s not.
i agree,… the Bible is pretty clear about christians marrying non-christians. but then again, i know people who married non-christians with the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their spouses will accept Christ. if you truly love the one you’re with, then prayerfully he will accept Christ too. no matter what, trust in Him because God will work things according to His purpose for those who loves Him. 🙂 i hope all these responses will encourage you in your walk with Christ, especially in your relationship 🙂
Yeah.. I realise now that the passage wasn’t referring to what I thought it was. I was hoping it would though 🙁 Unfortunately, my church will absolutely not marry their members with a non-believer. I guess time will tell how things go.. at the end of the day, i just want both of us to be happy!
>but then again, i know people who married non-christians with >the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their >spouses will accept Christ.
But in obidience with God. it is a definite no. its very important that we as belivers of Christ follow exactly what the Bible says that has been clearly stated. We will be judge for our decisions like these.
But yes, if you truly love the person, as you said, we should continue to pray for his/her salvation 🙂
– sam.k
I’ve met my wife during uni days and we’ve dated for over 5 years. However, both our parents opposed to our marriage violently – not because of religious reasons but because I was younger than her and that they thought that the relationship would eventually become incompatible due to the age difference: They were afraid that we will both end up hurting each other eventually. The reason for their opposition was not about control but about their true love for us, which wished for our ultimate happiness.
We communicated with them, through our sincere and genuine love for each other, through pleas and through demonstration of our commitment to each other – eternally… they eventually gave in and blessed our union.
Now, I believe that the God also wants to bless you – not by breaking your relationship up but by allowing you to experience the wonders of true union in the Lord. He wants the best for you…
He has promised that if we knock on the door it will be opened and if we ask that it will be given… What parent would deny their child’s ultimate happiness? So the message is that you should, through your actions and prayers, introduce the wonders of your relationship with Him who has made you to your partner… and ask and plea or even beg and nag Him to open your partner’s hearts so that he can allow Christ into his heart… The outcome will be an eternal happy union as well as another heart won for the Kingdom… now which do you think God would prefer… a break up of a beautiful relationship or another soul won and a wonderful witness of His Love manifested through your relationship?
The relationship with the Lord is not about being bound by rules and regulations. Christ did not come to enforce the laws but He came to fulfill the laws so that we may be free… free to enjoy all that He has planned for us through the power that he has given us…
So tonite I pray for you and whoever may be out there wondering about their relationships… do turn your heart toward God and ask Him… I am sure that He will deliver as He promised…
Thanks for your insight into the passage.. I was really wondering about it because as long as I can remember, I was always told a Christian and non-Christian should not marry. Yet that passage really seems to suggest it’s alright! I didn’t realise it was referring to a non-believing couple when one decided to believe.
I can’t force anyone to convert, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be ‘true’ anyway.. but I hope with all my heart things will work out for us . It’s such a difficult situation to be in, especially now that I’m older, and sometimes it really makes me feel lost when I realise the decision I have to make sooner or later. I guess there is no simple or easy way out!
I’ve stumbled across your blog and saw that you’ve raised an interesting question.
In the previous verses from 7:1-7:9, Paul speaks to the singles, saying that it is better for them not to get married (if they have the gift of being able to stay single without sinning(sexual sin in this case)). This has caused a lot of controversy when I was at uni as the devout Christian couples started to wonder whether they should continue their relationships or to break up and remain single to do the Lord’s work for the rest of their lives. I think the ability to remain single is a special “gift” and for most of us it is better (as Paul suggests) to marry. Paul is trying to emphasise the urgency of the work at hand as the harvests are plentiful but the labourers are few.
As for latter verses, it talks about married couples. Paul is trying to suggest that Divorce is illegal(v10) and it would be good to try to stay together despite your differences but if you can’t bear the relationship with someone who has no relationship with the Lord, then it is ok to part with each other.
The Bible is clear in forbidding Christian’s marriage with non Christians – both in the old and new testament. And the reason is so pure and so simple. Marriage is an institution that the Creator has instituted by blessing Adam and Eve. Because of His love for us, he willed us to continue and enjoy our relationship with the Creator ETERNALLY through personal interaction with Him.
It’s an institution where, the two halves unite once again as one – both physically (through sex) and spiritually (through their common relationship with the Lord and their shared goals).
Two people with different (not necessarily conflicting) goals don’t work very well together as it makes everything twice as complex and hard. He, who loves you, is concerned about your spiritual welfare lest you may fall from His grace and turn your eyes upon worldly destinations (we often fall into this trap without much help from others)…
A truly successful marriage is where the physical and spiritual union through the Lord is present. If only half of the equation (sex and perhaps emotional union but not spiritual) is fulfilled, then we would be missing out on something so wonderful that God had originally planned for us: Usually one will have a goal of worldly success, whilst the other will have set their eyes upon something eternal – the difference here is literally heaven and earth – do they mix? certainly not very well…
Now that I’ve depressed you enough with all these Biblical mumbo jumbo… I would like to present you with a ray of sunshine below…
Hi there..chanced upon your journal and you don’t know me but I worship in Zion too. =)
That passage refers to a couple in which the wife becomes a believer while she is still in the marriage. The passage says that she does not have the right to divorce him even though she is now a believer and God has said that the unequally should not be yoked.
I think the bible has been rather clear about marriages between the non-christian and a christian. Which is difficult, especially if you’ve met someone who is a non christian but you truly love. I know how you feel, having been under the same situation. It’s a terrible feeling. =\
Don’t stop praying beverly. God will not leave you alone in a time like this, and He will only prepare the best for you. Take care and if you need help with anything else don’t hesitate to let me know.
Oh hey cool… are you in YF? I assume you’re talking about Zion in SG.. haven’t been back for ages 🙁
thanks for the clarification though. It makes sense.. and I think it’s very merciful and fair to say that the wife (or husband) doesn’t have to divorce their spouse if they become a believer themselves.
If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do when you were in the situation like mine?
No I’m not in YF. I stopped going a few years back. =)
I wouldn’t mind sharing with you what I have done/will do etc in a situation like yours. But it is a tad bit private so why don’t you drop me an email at [email protected] and we’ll talk there? =)
yea it’s an incredible decision to make.. and hurts too much..
it’s one giant leap of faith..
“another Zion member” (my, my, aren’t we everywhere.. )
Tsk tsk. Who are you ah? Why are you anonymous??? =\
Heh.. I was thinking that too! Spill your name, it’s always fun to meet people from Zion, the world is a small place 🙂
Sounds like that’s what it’s saying.
There are other parts of the Bible that say it’s okay for a man to leave his wife, but if SHE divorces him and marries someone else, it’s adultery. Bleh.
Hi there! Just wondering, what made you come to this conclusion?
I’m saying this because to my best knowledge, the bible has been very clear about marriages. I don’t remember anywhere that says it’s ok for a man to leave his wife and that for the wife to leave her husband it’s adultery.
maybe you can let us know where the bible talks about such a situation?
What passage is that in?!
Hi Bev —
Evidently you are quite religious, and you have mentioned religion being an issue with your relationship with Chris.
I remember that you said you did not believe in living with a man before marriage. I suppose this may be considered a personal question, you can screen/delete if you wish, but I have been curious of this for some time, I was wondering what your views on sex before marriage were?
– S
You should probably email me about that, I’m not going to start a religious debate here 😛
I hope this will help you.
http://www.childoflight.org/yoked.html
You asked “Are they saying it’s OK for a woman to marry a man that’s a non-Christian because he and their children will be saved through her????”
For a believer to directly marry a non-believer to “sanctify the husband and children” through her grace is using THAT as an excuse to marry her husband because she is too attached to him (and not God) to let go. She should love God so much where she should surrender the man to God, for she should put God first before anything, even anyone. Also, the husband and children cannot be saved by the mother’s grace alone, they have to – on their own volition, accept Christ. It’s not fair if they are automatically saved because of the Christian mother, then for all the non-believers in this world, all they need to do is marry a Christian to go to heaven.
Also, and this is perhaps something you overlooked: If a non-believer knows you are very in love with him, AND you are a Christian, and you are so in love you cannot let him go… and you marry him, that is an action that implies: “I love God, and I love you, but I don’t have enough faith in God that I can do without you.” If you don’t marry him, the non-believer has no choice but to think, “whatever she’s believing, or whatever God she devotes herself to, must be really GREAT that my lover had the strength to break up with me.” So if you do marry him, the non-believer really has no point or desire to accept God, because he has all he wants (you) and you weren’t in love with God enough to have put the non-believer before God.
The reason why I have taken the time to write all this is because the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I did not even know about the bible saying this until I was too deep in love. I tried to speak with my boyfriend/express my views/convert him, but as nice, kind-hearted, and sweet as he was, he realized the one thing blocking our relationship was… Christianity. So he began loathing it.
I was in love with him, it hurt to let him go- I lost 6 lbs in like 3 days, but the reason why I did it was because yes, I did love God before I loved him, and I could not imagine myself having children, going to church with them, and having my husband sleep in and not join. it wouldn’t be a true, loving, 1-unit family. Because I loved my boyfriend so much, after we broke up, we couldn’t stand being without each other so I went back to him. Months later, we tried to work it out but realized because of our religous differences, in the long run it wouldn’t work out no matter how desperately in love we were with each other.
During that latter process, my faith in God grew, and he gave me the strength to thnk about life without my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup, and to this day (1 year later) I am glad it happened, because no matter how much I love him (I still do) I knew if we were still together, we would be in deeper in love and wouldn’t be able to control ourselves in the future, would get married, have kids… and then get divorced. The strangest, most unbelievable part was that God filled me with so much love and happiness, that even today I am extremely happy to be with God.
I pray you don’t have to go through the same pain. I pray that God will be with you.
ps the link I gave you is not THAT great. Just look up on the internet “unequally yoked” and you’ll find a million websites.
Re: I hope this will help you.
Thanks, it does help.. and it’s really comforting to know that others have been in a similar situation. I do fear that my boyfriend will start to hate Christinity since it’s the only thing that stands between us from being together.
But yes, the thought of going to church by myself when I”m married while my husband sleeps at home is enough to make me balk at the thought. I simply won’t be like a single person or worse, a single mother, when I’m married.
It’s a hard decision to make.. so I’m glad I’m still young. But hopefully, no matter what happens, both of us will be happy.
I hope this will help you.
http://www.childoflight.org/yoked.html
You asked “Are they saying it’s OK for a woman to marry a man that’s a non-Christian because he and their children will be saved through her????”
For a believer to directly marry a non-believer to “sanctify the husband and children” through her grace is using THAT as an excuse to marry her husband because she is too attached to him (and not God) to let go. She should love God so much where she should surrender the man to God, for she should put God first before anything, even anyone. Also, the husband and children cannot be saved by the mother’s grace alone, they have to – on their own volition, accept Christ. It’s not fair if they are automatically saved because of the Christian mother, then for all the non-believers in this world, all they need to do is marry a Christian to go to heaven.
Also, and this is perhaps something you overlooked: If a non-believer knows you are very in love with him, AND you are a Christian, and you are so in love you cannot let him go… and you marry him, that is an action that implies: “I love God, and I love you, but I don’t have enough faith in God that I can do without you.” If you don’t marry him, the non-believer has no choice but to think, “whatever she’s believing, or whatever God she devotes herself to, must be really GREAT that my lover had the strength to break up with me.” So if you do marry him, the non-believer really has no point or desire to accept God, because he has all he wants (you) and you weren’t in love with God enough to have put the non-believer before God.
The reason why I have taken the time to write all this is because the EXACT SAME THING happened to me. I did not even know about the bible saying this until I was too deep in love. I tried to speak with my boyfriend/express my views/convert him, but as nice, kind-hearted, and sweet as he was, he realized the one thing blocking our relationship was… Christianity. So he began loathing it.
I was in love with him, it hurt to let him go- I lost 6 lbs in like 3 days, but the reason why I did it was because yes, I did love God before I loved him, and I could not imagine myself having children, going to church with them, and having my husband sleep in and not join. it wouldn’t be a true, loving, 1-unit family. Because I loved my boyfriend so much, after we broke up, we couldn’t stand being without each other so I went back to him. Months later, we tried to work it out but realized because of our religous differences, in the long run it wouldn’t work out no matter how desperately in love we were with each other.
During that latter process, my faith in God grew, and he gave me the strength to thnk about life without my boyfriend. It was a mutual breakup, and to this day (1 year later) I am glad it happened, because no matter how much I love him (I still do) I knew if we were still together, we would be in deeper in love and wouldn’t be able to control ourselves in the future, would get married, have kids… and then get divorced. The strangest, most unbelievable part was that God filled me with so much love and happiness, that even today I am extremely happy to be with God.
I pray you don’t have to go through the same pain. I pray that God will be with you.
ps the link I gave you is not THAT great. Just look up on the internet “unequally yoked” and you’ll find a million websites.
Re: I hope this will help you.
Thanks, it does help.. and it’s really comforting to know that others have been in a similar situation. I do fear that my boyfriend will start to hate Christinity since it’s the only thing that stands between us from being together.
But yes, the thought of going to church by myself when I”m married while my husband sleeps at home is enough to make me balk at the thought. I simply won’t be like a single person or worse, a single mother, when I’m married.
It’s a hard decision to make.. so I’m glad I’m still young. But hopefully, no matter what happens, both of us will be happy.
Not that my opinion counts here (it’s my first visit), but I’d agree with the majority of believers out there, that marrying a non-christian is a rather big “no.” It would lead to rather heated arguements further down the line (and would be more pain than pleasure), especially since “secularism” is very much opposed to christianity. Indeed, inter-denominational marriages are hard enough, and they mainly agree on 99% of issues.
Contempory society encourages people to live life as they see fit, whilst Jesus teaches us to live by the Bible. Issues such as Sex, Lifestyle, Addictions, Beliefs would more often than not be diametrically opposed to each other.
1. Sex – I doubt that most non-christians can see the virtue in holding their virgity until marriage. Afterall, to the secular world out there, sex is nothing more than a form of social interaction (like shaking hands).
2. Lifestyle – I once again doubt that most non-christians would be opposed to a lifestyle of self-indulgence. While Christianity reinforces the belief that we are here to help one another, the world encourages us to look after ourselves. Try explaining to your future non-christian spouse that you would like to give the church 10% of your income every week.
3. Addictions – addictions are everywhere. From drugs, alcoholism, sex, etc. Anything that would detract ones main focus from the worship of God ultimately becomes their God.
4. Beliefs – the concept of sin is lost on many non-christians (and also some believers). Some things are just wrong (giving false testimony, fornication, homosexuality, etc) and have Godly reasons behind them. One day your child may ask if it’s ok to be gay, or your spouse may want to engage in extra-marital “fun”. Whilst the non-christian view would be “Being Gay is ok,” or “Swinger baby! Yeah!” the bible is rather firm on these issues.
There are plenty of other issues that one could formulate as to why non-christians and christians should not marry, but I’m sure i’ve raised the blood pressure of some readers enough for tonight.
For skeptics and Christian-haters out there, no christian’s are perfect, indeed, this is why we go to church, read the bible, and seek forgiveness. If a person could live a perfect life without sin, there would be no need for Christ. It is because we are “imperfect” that we need the bible to guide us, and Jesus to redeem us.
*wooF*
I know marriage is hard anyway, and there are always problems.. so I can see why it’s ‘right’ to try and marry someone with common views as yourself – not just spritually but in other aspects. It just leads to less tension and potential arguments.
One thing though, someone did mention to me that homosexuals are that way genetically, not because they specifically chose to. If that’s the case, then it can also be said that because it was in their genes, God made them like that when they were born.. so it’s not their fault is it? I thought that was kind of confusing :T
oh bev! haha we dived into another thing…
there is no scientific proof that homsexuality is inherited or genetically passed down.
i’ll keep it like this for now. ill be emailing u 😉
sam.k
Not that my opinion counts here (it’s my first visit), but I’d agree with the majority of believers out there, that marrying a non-christian is a rather big “no.” It would lead to rather heated arguements further down the line (and would be more pain than pleasure), especially since “secularism” is very much opposed to christianity. Indeed, inter-denominational marriages are hard enough, and they mainly agree on 99% of issues.
Contempory society encourages people to live life as they see fit, whilst Jesus teaches us to live by the Bible. Issues such as Sex, Lifestyle, Addictions, Beliefs would more often than not be diametrically opposed to each other.
1. Sex – I doubt that most non-christians can see the virtue in holding their virgity until marriage. Afterall, to the secular world out there, sex is nothing more than a form of social interaction (like shaking hands).
2. Lifestyle – I once again doubt that most non-christians would be opposed to a lifestyle of self-indulgence. While Christianity reinforces the belief that we are here to help one another, the world encourages us to look after ourselves. Try explaining to your future non-christian spouse that you would like to give the church 10% of your income every week.
3. Addictions – addictions are everywhere. From drugs, alcoholism, sex, etc. Anything that would detract ones main focus from the worship of God ultimately becomes their God.
4. Beliefs – the concept of sin is lost on many non-christians (and also some believers). Some things are just wrong (giving false testimony, fornication, homosexuality, etc) and have Godly reasons behind them. One day your child may ask if it’s ok to be gay, or your spouse may want to engage in extra-marital “fun”. Whilst the non-christian view would be “Being Gay is ok,” or “Swinger baby! Yeah!” the bible is rather firm on these issues.
There are plenty of other issues that one could formulate as to why non-christians and christians should not marry, but I’m sure i’ve raised the blood pressure of some readers enough for tonight.
For skeptics and Christian-haters out there, no christian’s are perfect, indeed, this is why we go to church, read the bible, and seek forgiveness. If a person could live a perfect life without sin, there would be no need for Christ. It is because we are “imperfect” that we need the bible to guide us, and Jesus to redeem us.
*wooF*
I know marriage is hard anyway, and there are always problems.. so I can see why it’s ‘right’ to try and marry someone with common views as yourself – not just spritually but in other aspects. It just leads to less tension and potential arguments.
One thing though, someone did mention to me that homosexuals are that way genetically, not because they specifically chose to. If that’s the case, then it can also be said that because it was in their genes, God made them like that when they were born.. so it’s not their fault is it? I thought that was kind of confusing :T
oh bev! haha we dived into another thing…
there is no scientific proof that homsexuality is inherited or genetically passed down.
i’ll keep it like this for now. ill be emailing u 😉
sam.k
Obedience to God
hi there Beverly,
i read your journal occasionally and ran over this post… i just wanted to add a couple of general perspectives.
as christians, our call is to be sanctified before God and set apart from the world (1 Thess 4:3-7). we strive towards sanctification for the ultimate glory of God and by obeying His Word (the Bible). as covered in the previous posts, the Bible says believers should not marry or “be yoked” with unbelievers.
i think that marriage oftentimes becomes more of an issue of obedience to God because for many, it plays out more as a selfish desire for self-fulfillment or self-validation. our only source of validation should come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ and God alone.
going back to glorifying God first, i think there’s a couple questions you have to ask yourself before marriage or even in any relationship: simply – “Is God first?” and “Would I still be content/satsified with God even if He took my spouse/significant other away today or tomorrow?” — that’s the HARDEST thing to consider but i believe that if you have that kind of a mindset, you will be obedient to God’s sovereignty and joyful in what He’s already provided through Christ; whether you’re single or married. God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is to glorify Him!
heh, i won’t keep dragging on and on, but i just wanted to post my thoughts on the general issue of marriage. here’s a quote that everybody should think upon:
“Love is not gazing at each other, but looking together in the
same direction.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
my 2 cents,
jeremy
Re: Obedience to God
Thanks for your input Jeremy.. i find it really sad and infinitely hard that I might have to let go of someone that I love more than anything – I never knew that being a believer could cause me so much heartache 🙁 But I guess I”m still young so I’m in no hurry to get married anyway, so we’ll see how things go. I know life is never easy, but sometimes I wish it was as simple as I see it!
I love your love quote by the way 🙂
Re: Obedience to God
no problem! i’m glad i could encourage a fellow sister; even though i don’t know you!
yea, i’m going through my own ‘girl-issues’ now and am having quite a tough time through it but something i constantly need to be reminding myself from the Word is this:
“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.” (Phil. 1:29)
and also:
“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”(2 Tim 3:12)
i think i’m finally taking those words to heart these days, not just with ‘girl-issues’ but with all sorts of other things and trusting the Lord to use those trials to bring me closer to Him.
Re: Obedience to God
It’s really nice to find out how many Christians read my journal, especially because so many are knowlegable and can help me when I have questions 🙂
I hope you work things out between you and your gf (?).. the main reason I find it hard to date Christians is because I don’t really know any, except those I meet at church, and I don’t feel any romantic connection with them anyway!
Obedience to God
hi there Beverly,
i read your journal occasionally and ran over this post… i just wanted to add a couple of general perspectives.
as christians, our call is to be sanctified before God and set apart from the world (1 Thess 4:3-7). we strive towards sanctification for the ultimate glory of God and by obeying His Word (the Bible). as covered in the previous posts, the Bible says believers should not marry or “be yoked” with unbelievers.
i think that marriage oftentimes becomes more of an issue of obedience to God because for many, it plays out more as a selfish desire for self-fulfillment or self-validation. our only source of validation should come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ and God alone.
going back to glorifying God first, i think there’s a couple questions you have to ask yourself before marriage or even in any relationship: simply – “Is God first?” and “Would I still be content/satsified with God even if He took my spouse/significant other away today or tomorrow?” — that’s the HARDEST thing to consider but i believe that if you have that kind of a mindset, you will be obedient to God’s sovereignty and joyful in what He’s already provided through Christ; whether you’re single or married. God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is to glorify Him!
heh, i won’t keep dragging on and on, but i just wanted to post my thoughts on the general issue of marriage. here’s a quote that everybody should think upon:
“Love is not gazing at each other, but looking together in the
same direction.” –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
my 2 cents,
jeremy
Re: Obedience to God
Thanks for your input Jeremy.. i find it really sad and infinitely hard that I might have to let go of someone that I love more than anything – I never knew that being a believer could cause me so much heartache 🙁 But I guess I”m still young so I’m in no hurry to get married anyway, so we’ll see how things go. I know life is never easy, but sometimes I wish it was as simple as I see it!
I love your love quote by the way 🙂
Re: Obedience to God
no problem! i’m glad i could encourage a fellow sister; even though i don’t know you!
yea, i’m going through my own ‘girl-issues’ now and am having quite a tough time through it but something i constantly need to be reminding myself from the Word is this:
“For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him.” (Phil. 1:29)
and also:
“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”(2 Tim 3:12)
i think i’m finally taking those words to heart these days, not just with ‘girl-issues’ but with all sorts of other things and trusting the Lord to use those trials to bring me closer to Him.
Re: Obedience to God
It’s really nice to find out how many Christians read my journal, especially because so many are knowlegable and can help me when I have questions 🙂
I hope you work things out between you and your gf (?).. the main reason I find it hard to date Christians is because I don’t really know any, except those I meet at church, and I don’t feel any romantic connection with them anyway!
hi
I study the bible v. frequently and i agree that the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian…. instead of confusing you with bible verses though… i will tell you another reason why i strongly agree….
My boyfriend’s aunt was/is a strong christian. She married a christian man but they divorced. Her second marriage was to a non-christian. The family splits up on sunday mornings….. the woman and 3 children go to church, the father sleeps in…. the mother/father believe separate things so there is always a struggle on what to teach their children or how to raise their children. The parents constantly fight about it and the children cant help but over-hear. They also wonder why daddy doesnt come to church. He is also a negative influence on her, and because of him…she is no longer as strong of a christian as she was…
This has caused for a difficult marriage and a difficult environment for the children to live in.
Bottom line : It makes life harder. (and it is biblically not right)
Hopefully i could be of help.
Re: hi
so.. the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian, but divorce is cool?
Why can’t they do alternate things each weekend if the kids aren’t old enough to make a choice. And if they are old enough to make a choice, let them make one without telling them they’ll “not be saved” or “go to hell.”
Yea, indoctrination worked for Hitler, but these are kids here, they should be given a choice for what they would like to do.
Maybe I’m not as fanatical as everyone here. The kids should be allowed to wonder why ‘daddy doesn’t go to church’ and be told because he doesn’t believe the same things, but wants them to have the chance to believe what they want.
Again not posting w/ a name because I have no account here at lj 😐
Re: hi
The Bible is really against divorce actually, and it’s very frowned upon in the Christian community.. because when you take your marriage vows they’re vows to God as well, and by divorcing, you’re breaking those vows.
Re: hi
As christian parents. The father, the mother and the children have a responsiblity and a call to obidience to God.
These are some commands/verses that God has clearly stated in the Bible the role of the father, the wife and the kids…
THE FATHER
In Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
In Ephesians 5, it goes on to explain about the father’s role in more detail.
Col 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged
THE CHILDREN
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
THE WIFE
Col 3:18 & Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
–
I’m not being preachy here, but you see, a Christian family is hard to survive without the father being a spiritual role model in the family. As you can see, the father has a huge responsiblity on his shoulders, it is not enough for me to type it all here, but in the context of what you did write, true kids are given a choice, but yet at the same time, as Christian parents, they have a responsibilty and a call to obidience to God. When Christian parents baptise their children (infant baptisim), they do it because they want their child to be brought up in a Christian family, and also to to teach them (not indoctrinate them) the word of God, during baptism, vows are being said b4 the Lord pertaining to this. Ultimately as the grow older, if it’s the Lord’s will for them for them for salvation to come into their hearts, it’s God’s will, not ours.
🙂 hope people reading this maybe able to understand a little why the Bible does not encourage us to marry an unbeliver.
agape,
sam.k 🙂
[email protected]
Re: hi
Saaaaam 🙂
You’re right about what you posted.. I think having a husband without the same religious beliefs as me would make me feel like a single mother – especially if I bring the kids to Church and he stays back at home. After all, the husband is the head of the family and leads the family.. Sometimes I wish life came with easy answers and decisions, or rather, ones that didn’t cause me or others hurt :T
Re: hi
I fully agree with you.
To me, what the Church says (“can’t marry a non-Christian”) isn’t as big of an issue of the actual factual and realistic reasons – which is what you said. I do strongly think that if 1 person was religious and the other wasn’t, the religious person would ‘drift’ away. When I’m married, I want to share the same spiritual beliefs as my husband, because I do think I’d drift away otherwise. Also, I HATE HATE HATE the thought of bringing my children to church while my husband sleeps at home. Id’ feel like a single parent and just awful, not like a family unit 🙁 That’s why I think its’ easier to marry someone of your religious beliefs.. so you can do things together (ie. both sleep in, or both go to church). It’s just what being a family is.. being together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
hi
I study the bible v. frequently and i agree that the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian…. instead of confusing you with bible verses though… i will tell you another reason why i strongly agree….
My boyfriend’s aunt was/is a strong christian. She married a christian man but they divorced. Her second marriage was to a non-christian. The family splits up on sunday mornings….. the woman and 3 children go to church, the father sleeps in…. the mother/father believe separate things so there is always a struggle on what to teach their children or how to raise their children. The parents constantly fight about it and the children cant help but over-hear. They also wonder why daddy doesnt come to church. He is also a negative influence on her, and because of him…she is no longer as strong of a christian as she was…
This has caused for a difficult marriage and a difficult environment for the children to live in.
Bottom line : It makes life harder. (and it is biblically not right)
Hopefully i could be of help.
Re: hi
so.. the bible is clear you shouldn’t marry a non-christian, but divorce is cool?
Why can’t they do alternate things each weekend if the kids aren’t old enough to make a choice. And if they are old enough to make a choice, let them make one without telling them they’ll “not be saved” or “go to hell.”
Yea, indoctrination worked for Hitler, but these are kids here, they should be given a choice for what they would like to do.
Maybe I’m not as fanatical as everyone here. The kids should be allowed to wonder why ‘daddy doesn’t go to church’ and be told because he doesn’t believe the same things, but wants them to have the chance to believe what they want.
Again not posting w/ a name because I have no account here at lj 😐
Re: hi
The Bible is really against divorce actually, and it’s very frowned upon in the Christian community.. because when you take your marriage vows they’re vows to God as well, and by divorcing, you’re breaking those vows.
Re: hi
As christian parents. The father, the mother and the children have a responsiblity and a call to obidience to God.
These are some commands/verses that God has clearly stated in the Bible the role of the father, the wife and the kids…
THE FATHER
In Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
In Ephesians 5, it goes on to explain about the father’s role in more detail.
Col 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged
THE CHILDREN
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
THE WIFE
Col 3:18 & Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
–
I’m not being preachy here, but you see, a Christian family is hard to survive without the father being a spiritual role model in the family. As you can see, the father has a huge responsiblity on his shoulders, it is not enough for me to type it all here, but in the context of what you did write, true kids are given a choice, but yet at the same time, as Christian parents, they have a responsibilty and a call to obidience to God. When Christian parents baptise their children (infant baptisim), they do it because they want their child to be brought up in a Christian family, and also to to teach them (not indoctrinate them) the word of God, during baptism, vows are being said b4 the Lord pertaining to this. Ultimately as the grow older, if it’s the Lord’s will for them for them for salvation to come into their hearts, it’s God’s will, not ours.
🙂 hope people reading this maybe able to understand a little why the Bible does not encourage us to marry an unbeliver.
agape,
sam.k 🙂
[email protected]
Re: hi
Saaaaam 🙂
You’re right about what you posted.. I think having a husband without the same religious beliefs as me would make me feel like a single mother – especially if I bring the kids to Church and he stays back at home. After all, the husband is the head of the family and leads the family.. Sometimes I wish life came with easy answers and decisions, or rather, ones that didn’t cause me or others hurt :T
Re: hi
I fully agree with you.
To me, what the Church says (“can’t marry a non-Christian”) isn’t as big of an issue of the actual factual and realistic reasons – which is what you said. I do strongly think that if 1 person was religious and the other wasn’t, the religious person would ‘drift’ away. When I’m married, I want to share the same spiritual beliefs as my husband, because I do think I’d drift away otherwise. Also, I HATE HATE HATE the thought of bringing my children to church while my husband sleeps at home. Id’ feel like a single parent and just awful, not like a family unit 🙁 That’s why I think its’ easier to marry someone of your religious beliefs.. so you can do things together (ie. both sleep in, or both go to church). It’s just what being a family is.. being together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
it’s strange how powerful religions are, that it would prevent someone from not being with someone they love.
I’m not religious at all, agnostic more, i have my own views on God, and my purpose, but I don’t pray, go to church, etc.
I just don’t see how saying to someone ‘I can’t be with you because you’re not my religion’ is any different from saying ‘I can’t be with you because you’re a different race’. It seems really selective and promotes weird feelings in me.
Guess that’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t want to be part of something that told me who I can and cannot associate with, because I am accountable for my OWN actions at death. I feel I can be my own good person without a set of rules that are constantly updated and changing (there are some things in the bible people completely don’t follow anymore and if you believe it in so strongly you would give something up, why don’t you believe in the rest of it?).
If you make choices you think are right and genuine instead of choices you “should make to impress God” that will be seen in the end, on your day of judgement. Are you really a “good” person? Or are you just going with what you were told?
That’s why people were created with Free Will, not so they could believe or not believe, but so they could govern themselves.
Just some food for thought for you Bev, and I can’t post w/ a user name because I don’t have one, and can’t join livejournal w/o a code. I know this may fall on def ears though, if your bible tells you to strongly uphold your beliefs and never doubt. But did you know.. had you been born to different PARENTS, or adopted to different PARENTS…. you could quite likely have a different religion you’d believe just as strongly?
No worries about the anonmity, you weren’t being agressive or rude or anything anyway. WHat you said wasn’t ‘shocking’ or anything to me, I’ve heard those thoughts/questions asked before 🙂
My response is that Christianity is hard to explain – it’s a faith and when people say “HOW can you believe?” or “Where’s the proof?” well, that’s what the word faith is.. to believe and *trust* in something. I think the Bible is against different religions marrying mainly because it causes a lot of problems in the future. Being married is to be one with someone, and if you have different beliefs, how can you be ‘one’? Both of you are going in different directions – I’m not saying one direction is right and the other is wrong.. but when 2 people have opposiing views, I think it just leads to problems in the future. Like if 2 people have very different ways of bringing up a child, or of handing finances, etc.
I don’t believe that ONLY Christians can be good people either. I do believe that in general, Christians are on average ‘better’ people (ie. less likely to steal, cheat, etc), but I have many many friends that aren’t Christians and have perfectly placed morals and values.. if not better than other Christians I know.
Interesting point about the “being born to different parents” though, because I did hear that staistically if a child is born in a certain religion, they are more likely to believe in that religion than a child who was brought up non-religions. I think I would have ‘found’ Christianity even if I wasn’t born into it though.. but as it stands where I am now, basically my entire life and social structure is ingrained with it and so all the morals, values, rules, etc are ingrained in me as a person.
it’s strange how powerful religions are, that it would prevent someone from not being with someone they love.
I’m not religious at all, agnostic more, i have my own views on God, and my purpose, but I don’t pray, go to church, etc.
I just don’t see how saying to someone ‘I can’t be with you because you’re not my religion’ is any different from saying ‘I can’t be with you because you’re a different race’. It seems really selective and promotes weird feelings in me.
Guess that’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t want to be part of something that told me who I can and cannot associate with, because I am accountable for my OWN actions at death. I feel I can be my own good person without a set of rules that are constantly updated and changing (there are some things in the bible people completely don’t follow anymore and if you believe it in so strongly you would give something up, why don’t you believe in the rest of it?).
If you make choices you think are right and genuine instead of choices you “should make to impress God” that will be seen in the end, on your day of judgement. Are you really a “good” person? Or are you just going with what you were told?
That’s why people were created with Free Will, not so they could believe or not believe, but so they could govern themselves.
Just some food for thought for you Bev, and I can’t post w/ a user name because I don’t have one, and can’t join livejournal w/o a code. I know this may fall on def ears though, if your bible tells you to strongly uphold your beliefs and never doubt. But did you know.. had you been born to different PARENTS, or adopted to different PARENTS…. you could quite likely have a different religion you’d believe just as strongly?
No worries about the anonmity, you weren’t being agressive or rude or anything anyway. WHat you said wasn’t ‘shocking’ or anything to me, I’ve heard those thoughts/questions asked before 🙂
My response is that Christianity is hard to explain – it’s a faith and when people say “HOW can you believe?” or “Where’s the proof?” well, that’s what the word faith is.. to believe and *trust* in something. I think the Bible is against different religions marrying mainly because it causes a lot of problems in the future. Being married is to be one with someone, and if you have different beliefs, how can you be ‘one’? Both of you are going in different directions – I’m not saying one direction is right and the other is wrong.. but when 2 people have opposiing views, I think it just leads to problems in the future. Like if 2 people have very different ways of bringing up a child, or of handing finances, etc.
I don’t believe that ONLY Christians can be good people either. I do believe that in general, Christians are on average ‘better’ people (ie. less likely to steal, cheat, etc), but I have many many friends that aren’t Christians and have perfectly placed morals and values.. if not better than other Christians I know.
Interesting point about the “being born to different parents” though, because I did hear that staistically if a child is born in a certain religion, they are more likely to believe in that religion than a child who was brought up non-religions. I think I would have ‘found’ Christianity even if I wasn’t born into it though.. but as it stands where I am now, basically my entire life and social structure is ingrained with it and so all the morals, values, rules, etc are ingrained in me as a person.
Hey Beverly, I agree with (padi)Cindy too, I think this passage refers to a person converting after marriage, not okaying a believer marrying a non-believer. And if a man converts after marriage, it’s not an excuse to divorce his wife because he is now a Christian and she’s not.
i agree,… the Bible is pretty clear about christians marrying non-christians. but then again, i know people who married non-christians with the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their spouses will accept Christ. if you truly love the one you’re with, then prayerfully he will accept Christ too. no matter what, trust in Him because God will work things according to His purpose for those who loves Him. 🙂 i hope all these responses will encourage you in your walk with Christ, especially in your relationship 🙂
Yeah.. I realise now that the passage wasn’t referring to what I thought it was. I was hoping it would though 🙁 Unfortunately, my church will absolutely not marry their members with a non-believer. I guess time will tell how things go.. at the end of the day, i just want both of us to be happy!
>but then again, i know people who married non-christians with >the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their >spouses will accept Christ.
But in obidience with God. it is a definite no. its very important that we as belivers of Christ follow exactly what the Bible says that has been clearly stated. We will be judge for our decisions like these.
But yes, if you truly love the person, as you said, we should continue to pray for his/her salvation 🙂
– sam.k
I’ve met my wife during uni days and we’ve dated for over 5 years. However, both our parents opposed to our marriage violently – not because of religious reasons but because I was younger than her and that they thought that the relationship would eventually become incompatible due to the age difference: They were afraid that we will both end up hurting each other eventually. The reason for their opposition was not about control but about their true love for us, which wished for our ultimate happiness.
We communicated with them, through our sincere and genuine love for each other, through pleas and through demonstration of our commitment to each other – eternally… they eventually gave in and blessed our union.
Now, I believe that the God also wants to bless you – not by breaking your relationship up but by allowing you to experience the wonders of true union in the Lord. He wants the best for you…
He has promised that if we knock on the door it will be opened and if we ask that it will be given… What parent would deny their child’s ultimate happiness? So the message is that you should, through your actions and prayers, introduce the wonders of your relationship with Him who has made you to your partner… and ask and plea or even beg and nag Him to open your partner’s hearts so that he can allow Christ into his heart… The outcome will be an eternal happy union as well as another heart won for the Kingdom… now which do you think God would prefer… a break up of a beautiful relationship or another soul won and a wonderful witness of His Love manifested through your relationship?
The relationship with the Lord is not about being bound by rules and regulations. Christ did not come to enforce the laws but He came to fulfill the laws so that we may be free… free to enjoy all that He has planned for us through the power that he has given us…
So tonite I pray for you and whoever may be out there wondering about their relationships… do turn your heart toward God and ask Him… I am sure that He will deliver as He promised…
Thanks for your insight into the passage.. I was really wondering about it because as long as I can remember, I was always told a Christian and non-Christian should not marry. Yet that passage really seems to suggest it’s alright! I didn’t realise it was referring to a non-believing couple when one decided to believe.
I can’t force anyone to convert, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be ‘true’ anyway.. but I hope with all my heart things will work out for us . It’s such a difficult situation to be in, especially now that I’m older, and sometimes it really makes me feel lost when I realise the decision I have to make sooner or later. I guess there is no simple or easy way out!
I’ve stumbled across your blog and saw that you’ve raised an interesting question.
In the previous verses from 7:1-7:9, Paul speaks to the singles, saying that it is better for them not to get married (if they have the gift of being able to stay single without sinning(sexual sin in this case)). This has caused a lot of controversy when I was at uni as the devout Christian couples started to wonder whether they should continue their relationships or to break up and remain single to do the Lord’s work for the rest of their lives. I think the ability to remain single is a special “gift” and for most of us it is better (as Paul suggests) to marry. Paul is trying to emphasise the urgency of the work at hand as the harvests are plentiful but the labourers are few.
As for latter verses, it talks about married couples. Paul is trying to suggest that Divorce is illegal(v10) and it would be good to try to stay together despite your differences but if you can’t bear the relationship with someone who has no relationship with the Lord, then it is ok to part with each other.
The Bible is clear in forbidding Christian’s marriage with non Christians – both in the old and new testament. And the reason is so pure and so simple. Marriage is an institution that the Creator has instituted by blessing Adam and Eve. Because of His love for us, he willed us to continue and enjoy our relationship with the Creator ETERNALLY through personal interaction with Him.
It’s an institution where, the two halves unite once again as one – both physically (through sex) and spiritually (through their common relationship with the Lord and their shared goals).
Two people with different (not necessarily conflicting) goals don’t work very well together as it makes everything twice as complex and hard. He, who loves you, is concerned about your spiritual welfare lest you may fall from His grace and turn your eyes upon worldly destinations (we often fall into this trap without much help from others)…
A truly successful marriage is where the physical and spiritual union through the Lord is present. If only half of the equation (sex and perhaps emotional union but not spiritual) is fulfilled, then we would be missing out on something so wonderful that God had originally planned for us: Usually one will have a goal of worldly success, whilst the other will have set their eyes upon something eternal – the difference here is literally heaven and earth – do they mix? certainly not very well…
Now that I’ve depressed you enough with all these Biblical mumbo jumbo… I would like to present you with a ray of sunshine below…
Hi there..chanced upon your journal and you don’t know me but I worship in Zion too. =)
That passage refers to a couple in which the wife becomes a believer while she is still in the marriage. The passage says that she does not have the right to divorce him even though she is now a believer and God has said that the unequally should not be yoked.
I think the bible has been rather clear about marriages between the non-christian and a christian. Which is difficult, especially if you’ve met someone who is a non christian but you truly love. I know how you feel, having been under the same situation. It’s a terrible feeling. =\
Don’t stop praying beverly. God will not leave you alone in a time like this, and He will only prepare the best for you. Take care and if you need help with anything else don’t hesitate to let me know.
Oh hey cool… are you in YF? I assume you’re talking about Zion in SG.. haven’t been back for ages 🙁
thanks for the clarification though. It makes sense.. and I think it’s very merciful and fair to say that the wife (or husband) doesn’t have to divorce their spouse if they become a believer themselves.
If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do when you were in the situation like mine?
No I’m not in YF. I stopped going a few years back. =)
I wouldn’t mind sharing with you what I have done/will do etc in a situation like yours. But it is a tad bit private so why don’t you drop me an email at [email protected] and we’ll talk there? =)
yea it’s an incredible decision to make.. and hurts too much..
it’s one giant leap of faith..
“another Zion member” (my, my, aren’t we everywhere.. )
Tsk tsk. Who are you ah? Why are you anonymous??? =\
Heh.. I was thinking that too! Spill your name, it’s always fun to meet people from Zion, the world is a small place 🙂
Sounds like that’s what it’s saying.
There are other parts of the Bible that say it’s okay for a man to leave his wife, but if SHE divorces him and marries someone else, it’s adultery. Bleh.
Hi there! Just wondering, what made you come to this conclusion?
I’m saying this because to my best knowledge, the bible has been very clear about marriages. I don’t remember anywhere that says it’s ok for a man to leave his wife and that for the wife to leave her husband it’s adultery.
maybe you can let us know where the bible talks about such a situation?
What passage is that in?!
Hi Bev —
Evidently you are quite religious, and you have mentioned religion being an issue with your relationship with Chris.
I remember that you said you did not believe in living with a man before marriage. I suppose this may be considered a personal question, you can screen/delete if you wish, but I have been curious of this for some time, I was wondering what your views on sex before marriage were?
– S
You should probably email me about that, I’m not going to start a religious debate here 😛
Hey Beverly, I agree with (padi)Cindy too, I think this passage refers to a person converting after marriage, not okaying a believer marrying a non-believer. And if a man converts after marriage, it’s not an excuse to divorce his wife because he is now a Christian and she’s not.
i agree,… the Bible is pretty clear about christians marrying non-christians. but then again, i know people who married non-christians with the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their spouses will accept Christ. if you truly love the one you’re with, then prayerfully he will accept Christ too. no matter what, trust in Him because God will work things according to His purpose for those who loves Him. 🙂 i hope all these responses will encourage you in your walk with Christ, especially in your relationship 🙂
Yeah.. I realise now that the passage wasn’t referring to what I thought it was. I was hoping it would though 🙁 Unfortunately, my church will absolutely not marry their members with a non-believer. I guess time will tell how things go.. at the end of the day, i just want both of us to be happy!
>but then again, i know people who married non-christians with >the faith that one day their prayers will be answered and their >spouses will accept Christ.
But in obidience with God. it is a definite no. its very important that we as belivers of Christ follow exactly what the Bible says that has been clearly stated. We will be judge for our decisions like these.
But yes, if you truly love the person, as you said, we should continue to pray for his/her salvation 🙂
– sam.k
I’ve met my wife during uni days and we’ve dated for over 5 years. However, both our parents opposed to our marriage violently – not because of religious reasons but because I was younger than her and that they thought that the relationship would eventually become incompatible due to the age difference: They were afraid that we will both end up hurting each other eventually. The reason for their opposition was not about control but about their true love for us, which wished for our ultimate happiness.
We communicated with them, through our sincere and genuine love for each other, through pleas and through demonstration of our commitment to each other – eternally… they eventually gave in and blessed our union.
Now, I believe that the God also wants to bless you – not by breaking your relationship up but by allowing you to experience the wonders of true union in the Lord. He wants the best for you…
He has promised that if we knock on the door it will be opened and if we ask that it will be given… What parent would deny their child’s ultimate happiness? So the message is that you should, through your actions and prayers, introduce the wonders of your relationship with Him who has made you to your partner… and ask and plea or even beg and nag Him to open your partner’s hearts so that he can allow Christ into his heart… The outcome will be an eternal happy union as well as another heart won for the Kingdom… now which do you think God would prefer… a break up of a beautiful relationship or another soul won and a wonderful witness of His Love manifested through your relationship?
The relationship with the Lord is not about being bound by rules and regulations. Christ did not come to enforce the laws but He came to fulfill the laws so that we may be free… free to enjoy all that He has planned for us through the power that he has given us…
So tonite I pray for you and whoever may be out there wondering about their relationships… do turn your heart toward God and ask Him… I am sure that He will deliver as He promised…
Thanks for your insight into the passage.. I was really wondering about it because as long as I can remember, I was always told a Christian and non-Christian should not marry. Yet that passage really seems to suggest it’s alright! I didn’t realise it was referring to a non-believing couple when one decided to believe.
I can’t force anyone to convert, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be ‘true’ anyway.. but I hope with all my heart things will work out for us . It’s such a difficult situation to be in, especially now that I’m older, and sometimes it really makes me feel lost when I realise the decision I have to make sooner or later. I guess there is no simple or easy way out!
I’ve stumbled across your blog and saw that you’ve raised an interesting question.
In the previous verses from 7:1-7:9, Paul speaks to the singles, saying that it is better for them not to get married (if they have the gift of being able to stay single without sinning(sexual sin in this case)). This has caused a lot of controversy when I was at uni as the devout Christian couples started to wonder whether they should continue their relationships or to break up and remain single to do the Lord’s work for the rest of their lives. I think the ability to remain single is a special “gift” and for most of us it is better (as Paul suggests) to marry. Paul is trying to emphasise the urgency of the work at hand as the harvests are plentiful but the labourers are few.
As for latter verses, it talks about married couples. Paul is trying to suggest that Divorce is illegal(v10) and it would be good to try to stay together despite your differences but if you can’t bear the relationship with someone who has no relationship with the Lord, then it is ok to part with each other.
The Bible is clear in forbidding Christian’s marriage with non Christians – both in the old and new testament. And the reason is so pure and so simple. Marriage is an institution that the Creator has instituted by blessing Adam and Eve. Because of His love for us, he willed us to continue and enjoy our relationship with the Creator ETERNALLY through personal interaction with Him.
It’s an institution where, the two halves unite once again as one – both physically (through sex) and spiritually (through their common relationship with the Lord and their shared goals).
Two people with different (not necessarily conflicting) goals don’t work very well together as it makes everything twice as complex and hard. He, who loves you, is concerned about your spiritual welfare lest you may fall from His grace and turn your eyes upon worldly destinations (we often fall into this trap without much help from others)…
A truly successful marriage is where the physical and spiritual union through the Lord is present. If only half of the equation (sex and perhaps emotional union but not spiritual) is fulfilled, then we would be missing out on something so wonderful that God had originally planned for us: Usually one will have a goal of worldly success, whilst the other will have set their eyes upon something eternal – the difference here is literally heaven and earth – do they mix? certainly not very well…
Now that I’ve depressed you enough with all these Biblical mumbo jumbo… I would like to present you with a ray of sunshine below…
Hi there..chanced upon your journal and you don’t know me but I worship in Zion too. =)
That passage refers to a couple in which the wife becomes a believer while she is still in the marriage. The passage says that she does not have the right to divorce him even though she is now a believer and God has said that the unequally should not be yoked.
I think the bible has been rather clear about marriages between the non-christian and a christian. Which is difficult, especially if you’ve met someone who is a non christian but you truly love. I know how you feel, having been under the same situation. It’s a terrible feeling. =\
Don’t stop praying beverly. God will not leave you alone in a time like this, and He will only prepare the best for you. Take care and if you need help with anything else don’t hesitate to let me know.
Oh hey cool… are you in YF? I assume you’re talking about Zion in SG.. haven’t been back for ages 🙁
thanks for the clarification though. It makes sense.. and I think it’s very merciful and fair to say that the wife (or husband) doesn’t have to divorce their spouse if they become a believer themselves.
If you don’t mind me asking, what did you do when you were in the situation like mine?
No I’m not in YF. I stopped going a few years back. =)
I wouldn’t mind sharing with you what I have done/will do etc in a situation like yours. But it is a tad bit private so why don’t you drop me an email at [email protected] and we’ll talk there? =)
yea it’s an incredible decision to make.. and hurts too much..
it’s one giant leap of faith..
“another Zion member” (my, my, aren’t we everywhere.. )
Tsk tsk. Who are you ah? Why are you anonymous??? =\
Heh.. I was thinking that too! Spill your name, it’s always fun to meet people from Zion, the world is a small place 🙂
Sounds like that’s what it’s saying.
There are other parts of the Bible that say it’s okay for a man to leave his wife, but if SHE divorces him and marries someone else, it’s adultery. Bleh.
Hi there! Just wondering, what made you come to this conclusion?
I’m saying this because to my best knowledge, the bible has been very clear about marriages. I don’t remember anywhere that says it’s ok for a man to leave his wife and that for the wife to leave her husband it’s adultery.
maybe you can let us know where the bible talks about such a situation?
What passage is that in?!
Hi Bev —
Evidently you are quite religious, and you have mentioned religion being an issue with your relationship with Chris.
I remember that you said you did not believe in living with a man before marriage. I suppose this may be considered a personal question, you can screen/delete if you wish, but I have been curious of this for some time, I was wondering what your views on sex before marriage were?
– S
You should probably email me about that, I’m not going to start a religious debate here 😛