From one of my hands down favourite sites ScaryMommy, comes this absolute KICKER.
I just about LOL’d myself to death.
Non-mummies – read this now. Come back later when you’re a mummy, and weep with laughter.
I personally was guilty of every single point 😉
1. You post “TGIF!” on your Facebook page and have big plans for the weekend. (guilty as charged. Though I must admit, I still do like weekends because we have family-time together with Chris)
2. You cut yourself a piece of chocolate cake, sit down at the table, and eat it like a civilized person. (HAH! My mum also wants to add “You are completely aware of what you’ve just consumed, and are able to eat it neatly off a plate. Not the table. Not the floor.”)
3. You reach into your purse and pull out what you intended to, on the first try. (When I’m holding on to a frantic baby, sometimes I even up-turn the entire bag in a fit of panic to get what I’m after ASAP)
4. You pity people who drive minivans. (also applies to SUV/MPV/etc. Used to think they were redundant. Now, they’re suddenly rather attractive.)
5. You sleep past 7:30 AM on a Saturday. (what is this concept of “sleep in”?)
6. You shut the bathroom door and it remains closed for the duration of your visit. (As Chris says, “even my poos are not closed-door policy these days. It’s cos Hunter and him do their poos together every night!)
7. You can properly identify the crud on your jeans.
8. And it bothers you. (Haha! I’m way less precious about my nice clothes and handbags. My most-used ones have a plethora of baby juices and random food all over them)
9. You’ve never had a stimulating conversation about poop. (the topic of much animated discussion among me and my friends)
10. You like your coffee hot, and actually drink it that way. (forgotten what this concept of “hot coffee” is.)
11. You don’t automatically clench your legs when you pee. (Actually I don’t understand this point? Anyone?)
12. You expect people to make a fuss over your birthday. (Not so interested in my own b’days anymore, so who cares 😉 )
13. You’ve never cleaned the house from top to bottom with nothing but a box of baby wipes. (We have an industrial-sized box of baby wipes to wipe everything from babies’ faces to the floor. Is there another option??)
14. You’ve fully caught up with your close friends via phone calls. (Actually I stay in touch with all my friends on a daily basis. The benefit of having all my friends being mums!)
15. Going to the grocery store alone on a Saturday night sounds pathetic. (I don’t and have never done this, but never thought it was a sad thing to do??
16. You get a paper cut and use a plain, flesh covered Band-Aid to cover it. (The kids have never required a band aid, thankfully!! So ours are still normal adult ones.)
17. You assume that rogue raisin on the floor is actually a raisin. (Hhahhahahhaha)
18. The goal of your shower is relaxation rather than cleanliness. (And I’d like to add, your shower is the opportunity to stand around for as long as you want. For these days, mine are as quick as humanly possible, often with the door wide open, and a kid in there with me)
19. The radio station is set to music you like listening to. (This includes cds in the cd player)
20. You take a sick day because you’re actually sick. (I’m not working so this doesn’t apply. But on the flip side, I’m not allowed ANY sick days)
21. You don’t think twice about purchasing new clothes or accessories for yourself. (So true. Not like I don’t buy a single thing for myself now, but I feel tremendous guilt when I could spend the $ on the kids instead)
22. You can make it out of Target with less than ten items. (I love discount stores now 😉 Best source for good kids clothes and accessories!)
23. You come back from vacations feeling rejuvinated. (LOL!!! We always want a holiday after a holiday)
24. You complain about your mother wanting to see you too much. (Guess it doesn’t apply cos we weren’t living in the same country pre-children! But, I totally can imagine this situation and agree, lol)
25. You roll your eyes at other parents and utter the words “I’d never…” (Chris and I were both guilty of this. Declaring that we’d never do this and that, and judging other parents. Now? We FULLY UNDERSTAND!!)