I can unequivocally say that the most HILARIOUS yet SKIN-CRAWLING part of the whole trip was when we visited the Totem
But funniest of all? Their clothing. I assume they were trying to show they were ~authentic~ and wearing animal skins, but instead, they wore this fake velvet fur fabric that they cut a zigzag into the hems. Straight out of The Flintstones. The fabric was easy to spot as fake a mile off, and the way they were wearing it was hilarious!!! And instead of tribal face-painting, they had heart-shapes and stars and even a heart with an arrow through it painted on their faces. A total WTF moment if I ever saw one.
When we entered, they grabbed each person and painted this really nasty-looking paint (lumpy and weird colour/consistency) on the side of their cheek. I guess to try and get everyone in the spirit? However, they weren’t being nice about it since they were grabbing and/or aggressively sticking out the brush to paint everyone’s faces, so a bunch of us decided that enough was enough, and we would not have germ-laden paint on our faces. So I said “no” when I stepped in. The guy grunted angrily and tried to PUSH/SHOVE me to the ground!!! I nearly fell, and was so shocked I didn’t have time to turn around and punch him in the face.
They had NO respect for personal space, nor knew how to behave to people. They were rude, intrusive, and kept grabbing at us. You know when an aggressive guy wants to pick a fight, and thrusts his face into yours? They kept doing that. I understand that in China, the concept of personal space and politeness is different. But this was WAY different from even what you would experience in Shanghai. T
hen, they grabbed our hands so we were all in a long line, and proceeded to drag us to dance around the “totems”. I had the guy’s sweaty, clammy hand gripping mine.. then he looked back at me, looked me up and down whilst licking his lips.. then suddenly grabbed me around the waist and humped me. You’d think I was telling a joke, but nope, he proceeded to hump the side of my leg before I gave a horrified squawk and kicked him.
Oh, but the best (or is it worst?) was yet to come. After our totem-dancing (ROFL) was over, they proceeded to announce that we had to give a donation. “For the children”, you see. Apparently. So they came up to everyone, hands out, demanding money. People were so surprised and caught off-guard that some actually gave cash. They tried to come to me but I stared him down so he gave up. And someone else was saying to the others NOT to give a cent, since it was extortion as we’d already paid a high entry fee, and we weren’t told we would be forced to give money again. Plus, I don’t believe it was for charity. Do you?
I would say it was an interesting experience at how bad an attraction can be. It was just like “A Disneyland theme park. Except not fun”, as someone said. Haha, so true! It was so all-out fake that it was like they were trying to take the piss, but actually they were genuinely trying to pass it off as real. That was kind of funny I suppose 🙂
It actually would’ve been fine, and a nice experience to laugh about, if they trained the staff (sorry, I mean “wild men”) to behave properly. But the way they harassed (and humped) us, and the way they blatently extorted money, made it a bit of a terrifying experience. I would never go back.
Walking in.. with our very shrill-voiced guide
A random bear. I couldn’t believe my eyes!! The man got on its back
and rode it like a horse… 🙁
They birds were tied so tightly to the stands 🙁
“wild men” in “animal skins” (ie. fake fur velvet fabric)
It’s a women-are-dominant society, apparently, so women go on the higher bridge,
men on the lower bridge. LOL!
An old lady sitting in her hut.. so we can see what “wild” living is like
Totems. Because, you know, totems are all the rage in China.. The “Chinese
Aborigines” (?!) use them, didn’t you know?!
And after grabbing our hands and forcing us to dance around the totems,
they demanded money. “For the children”, of course.
Winding round and round cheap tables with cheap trinkets, in the hope you’re
compelled to buy something as you walk out of the “wild men” park.
Well, at least the view was terrific!